Sean Starr

Artist, Creative Director, and Author

Dance Of The Fools

Send this day away

I am ready for night

there is no peace to be found here

you have the same look in your eyes

we can both keep drinking

and deny what has brought us both here

this song is breaking my heart

why would they play this song?

you sense the tearing at my soul

holding out your hand

offering me a dance

without words exchanged

my heart is not dancing with you

allowing me this indulgence

your heart doesn't dance with mine

this loneliness could unhinge us

something better was meant

for these two hearts

we shared the fortunes

that reside in our chests

with smaller minds who spent it all

and so little remains from their theft

even if we combined

what we have left between us

it would never be enough to purchase

a new beginning for ourselves

My hand on your back

as we begin to dance

your hand caressing my shoulder

we are strong

we are broken

Your eyes meet mine

looking down with an embarrassed grin

still a teenage girl at heart

Can you show me where you go

I want to live

but not like this

beautiful vases

broken and glued back in place

The song is ending

standing

waiting for the next

taking too long

and I want to run

struggling to catch my breath

pressing your head into my neck

feelings I wished to never have again

You are living

you are breathing

your heart is just like mine

lost my strength to hope

kissing your forehead

telling you I'll be right back

I step outside

and never return

Mountains

I spent my night on this mountain

climbing to the heights

sleeping under limbs

of ancient noble trees

I came up here searching

for the feathers of a little bird

when I saw her I was startled

her beauty possessed power

Spending hours in circles

gently stepping towards her

her stepping back in turn

extending my hand

her wings fluttering

I won her over

and held her in my hand

gentle eyes peering into mine

at first she trembled

I calmed her with my touch

Spending the afternoons together

she sang the songs of her fathers

amazed by her beauty

I refused to see the truth

This sweet and gentle bird

atop this mountain

already had a nest

no need to change her world

No intention to build a cage

no desire to move her nest

I left the mountain today

lonely but not bitter

satisfaction in knowledge

beauty lives in the mountains

Perfect Death

Please don’t be upset

with the trembling of these hands

you couldn’t cause this

this happened before you came here

How could I ever explain

what I need to say most?

damned and cursed at an early age

no resurrection for this soul

You embody what I wanted

the desires of long ago

you terrify me

I am depleted and broken

To open myself at this moment

and pour out the contents in your hands

could be suicide of the heart

your rejection would be death

Faust was a master

at trading one’s soul

but unlike Faust

I have given up on redemption

I have imagined you

fiction has become addiction

to lay still next to you sleeping

I could die in peace

I can’t change what I am

have lost the will to try

needing help to maintain

are you immune to this disease?

I reflect on moments

brief memories that keep me sane

help me create more

they will last a lifetime

I will bury myself tonight

the perfect death in your arms

unconscious but breathing

resting upon your clouds

Damn you now

awakening this in me

I had it neatly packed away

hidden and unread

They all wanted more than this

a weight I couldn’t carry

invest in this heart

I can exceed your expectations

Little Pebble

This cold river

runs over our heads

little pebble

I must seem

like a massive stone

The fish spend their time with us

we watch them dance

you have been at my side

for centuries now

When I look straight up

I can see the sky

the bright blue and the clouds

when the night comes

the stars scattered on black

The waters changed today

colder and faster than yesterday

I would struggle to tell you

but it's all so trivial

these simple observations

If I only had the courage

I would tell you that your beauty

has impressed me every day

and how I look forward

to the sun shining through the water

to capture your sparkle

How pleased I am

that you settled at my side

the fish have passed through

as they do each day

and the night is starting to fall

Another day has passed

I've said nothing yet again

perhaps tomorrow

when the sun breaks through the water

I'll tell you how my days are better

since you settled at my side

Beautiful Heart

Your beautiful heart

puts mine to shame

I can see the way you look at children

and it makes me feel like a child

Our eyes meet across the room

we exchange a smile

and I wonder from where I sit

why no one else has ever seen

what I am seeing tonight

You remind me of something

that I wish I could forget

because hope can be cruel

and it’s been so long

since I’ve seen a beautiful heart

With my endless words

and late night talk

I get the sense

that you would be content with silence

I have nothing in my pockets

I don’t even know what’s left of my heart

but I fear it will never be enough

to offer to a heart like yours

I have always longed for a love like yours

something simple and solid

where empty promises have no stand

and a gentle touch says more than words

But I fear that I am a fool

and I am damned to be alone

and will have to watch in silence

as a far better man catches your eye

If you knew my mistakes

and the madness I’ve known

you would protect your heart

and never look my way again

and I wouldn’t blame you a bit

I should leave you to a better man than I

there is a gentleness you possess

that will never be rightfully mine

but as selfish as I may be

I will hope in secret

Even fools can hope

and I won’t deny my fate

but if there is one moment in my life

where I can feel the warmth of your hand

none of this will have been in vain

To cradle you in my arms

as the sun slowly fades

to wake to your smile

and sober to the fact

that you will always be mine

is enough to make the risk worthwhile

My heart has never strayed

even when it belonged to one that did

if that has value to yours

I would like to offer you that reward

it seems a worthless commodity these days

When I face my last days

hopefully wiser than this day

it would be a comfort to my heart

to have yours standing next to me

Icarus WIngs

My skin has been on fire

ash and cinders of betrayal

continuing to walk

continuing to breathe

My skin has shed

revealing something raw and ugly

you know me

from the music that destroys me

Standing tall and invincible

nothing has killed me

attempting my own slaughter

I proved I could not die

I poisoned the poisons

breaking bones with bare hands

you have attacked me

for being who I am

I deny none of it

I am freer than you

the future is the same as today

it has all become the same

I may die tomorrow

if I have nothing else to do

everything has become better

and worse as well

Nothing left to conquer

no demons to consume

the challenges aren't the same

the beasts that mauled me

have been kept safely away

All that's left

is the weight on these shoulders

repeating over and over

becoming a dance of its own

I will tear the feathers from great birds

and build Icarus wings

with an outcome much the same

Simple Man

Forgive this tongue

it wrestles with this heart

my heart carries a list of things

it has always wanted to say

these words stall at these gates

I would tell you your lips

are the color of the finest wine

but poetry belongs in books

and a simple man is condemned

to speak simple words

Your eyes stare into mine

longing for better than I can speak

and I resent these words

that will never meet your ears

If I could write it all down

and deliver written words

you might see this heart is pure

and longs to be with yours

but poetry is for the poets

and lyrics are meant to be sung

I have nothing I can offer you

but this hand that cradles hammer and nail

it is capable of building great things

from something very small

If I could write a love letter

I would choose the finest words

I would describe

the emptiness of my hours

that occupy my days

until the time

that I can see your face again

I would tell you how

I have imagined your kiss

and the smile it brings to my face

there are also words I would dare never say

I could never tell you

of the dinner I made

for the two of us to share

and how I set your plate across from mine

and how I filled your glass with wine

and wondered what a night like that

would be like

I know if you heard of such madness

you would keep me at a distance

I should get these hands back to their

work

and stop dreaming these dreams

at the end of this day

I will stop by the market

to see if you are there today

I hope that nothing in my eyes

will give me away

these tired arms

will someday hold their reward

I will settle for your smile today

until I am brave enough

to use the words to convince you

that a simple man can love you

with a heart as large as the poets

Beautiful Bird

Beautiful bird

just above my reach

let me touch your wing

Your feathers glisten in the sun

the wind moves you

and you comply

I want to soar with you

I want to see what you see

Imagining you, in your nest

atop the highest trees

warm and gentle as the sun goes down

I would tell you what its like

to walk along the earth

but I fear you wouldn’t understand

Our views of this world are different

but we are seeing the same things

And as I watch you in the sky

I wonder if you look towards me

and seeing that we are the same

If you could teach me to fly

I could teach you to dance

your wings could block the glare from

the sun

when it becomes hard for me to see

I could hold you in my arms

when you need to rest

I could feed you with my touch

We are different, but we are the same

you are a beautiful bird, and I am just a man

but I see what you see

and we feel the same breeze

and when the sun goes down tonight

you will remember me too

Cool Breezes At My Back

The devil resides here

this place where I go

my eyes no longer see color

blackness drips from these walls

The blueprints of betrayal

were designed in this place

I sit alone in my darkness

staring out a window

into ash and smoke

Please don't speak to me

that's not why I came

I sense your hands on my shoulders

whispering in my ear

Please don't try to convince me

I belong in this place

I never chose to come here

that would be a madness

even I could never comprehend

You whisper It never gets better

as I try to shake you off

you were damned here

this really was your choice

I hate this place

there are things I need to do

you are wasting your time

I will never partner with you

your appetite is greedy

I would only nourish you for a moment

they say you were once beautiful

but your days of glory gone

Your chance at redemption

eternity has passed

you would like for me to stay here

to justify your fate

I long for strength to stand

but the weight on these shoulders

holds me in this chair

I think you like it here

you made this place your home

I have failed in love

but at least I could define it

I am done here

I am going to leave

I know I don't belong up there

where others seem to fly

But this is not my place

and I've grown so tired of you

my strength may reside in madness

but I'm beginning to walk away

Seeing you in the corner of my eye

as your attention turns to another

I am walking again

with cool breezes at my back

I see you far off in the distance now

may we never meet again

A Love Letter To Death

I stand here on your doorstep

looking at the warm fire through the

window

I have been here far too many nights

Those years we walked hand in hand

were beautiful years

there weren’t any lingering questions

the future was well known

You stood by my side

waiting for your reward

as gravity pulled me to the bottom

You sat patiently beside my hospital bed

waiting for your chance

to have me all to yourself

When my heart went empty

while holding a lover’s cheating hand in

mine

you started to prepare our bed

You gave me peace, and your familiar face

calmed me always

you seduced me with the promise of

peaceful rest

There are days still, when I miss your smell

I see you resembled in the face of friends

We had our secret plans

we had agreed on what was best

I relied on your strength

when I knew mine was spent

No need to shed tears

no need to cry out loud

you taught me that without saying a word

You convinced me of something

that wasn’t quite true

you took from me my right to feel

I see the sadness in your eyes now

and you don’t want to let go

but you will return to collect your

reward

And I will stand ready, with arms

stretched wide

and you can take me to our bed

that you made years ago

and hold me as I give in to your promised

rest

The Past Dies Every Day

It swallows me

it devours me

this loneliness that you created

NO.

this loneliness we created

NO.

this loneliness I created

Distractions help me

but distractions don't help you grow

my body still

feeling nothing

reacting to nothing

you still tear at me

like a wild beast

I am hiding now

using a thin shadow

with every rising sun

it becomes clearer

who I have become

NO.

who I have always been

Then She Bit Me

I saw her coasting on the surface

an intelligence in her eyes

saving the best of herself

for someone greater than I

The months fell asleep in death

a wicked period of time

watching perfection parade herself

extinguishing the luxury of hope

There were moments

impossible to conceal

I thought it wise to ignore them

to stand in familiar soil

Some forces refuse denial

steady north winds, ignoring seasons

bending us like juniper branches

revealing weakness as strength

Then it happened

the moment that barriers fell

she lured me inside

then she bit me

I carry the wound

with honor and pride

my skin stinging

from the voice of the living

Delicate But Strong

If my tongue wasn't tied

I could describe in detail

how the warmth of your smile

could convince roses to grow tall

Her perfect hand

looks tiny in mine

reminding me now

she is delicate but strong

She told me when she was born

how she fit in the palm of a hand

as small as a dollar bill

normal forces unable to stop her

She is delicate but strong

she is the balance of the universe

her completeness

makes me question myself

Both a little foolish

writing this comedy on our own

the sound of two people laughing

has never been so loud

Royalty Of The Heart

Warriors of poets

stronger than the rest

wrestling brutality

the pressures of the heart

The humorless refuse to dance

refuse to smile

refuse to love

We are of the Royalty of the Heart

unwilling to compromise

refusing hate

The world crucifies lovers

for reminding them to feel

then weep beside their bodies

for the beauty they have killed

The power of two hearts

held together like bricks and mortar

a fortress against heathens

The mighty sword

I will carry it to protect us

collecting all to battle

no retreat

Waking to the sounds of a crowd

thinking it was our end

holding roses in their hands

crying for us to come out

Our battle ended

surrounded by allies

the union of two hearts

became a large army

United and strong

protected by numbers

strengthened by forces

telling us with roses

what we already knew

Miserable Man

This familiar addiction

is my only sense of home

these surroundings I so carefully

designed

I thought I lost it all

That this world I had built

had been stripped from my hands

some things are impossible to steal

some places exist in eternity

You never had pride in being with me

the way I held pride in your stance

I promoted you as noble

with the hope that you would someday be

I don’t know how to sleep alone

and some nights I don’t

other nights I drink myself numb

You made us all or nothing

and I’m grateful that you did

you relieved me of the burden of choice

you mocked my madness

you magnified it as a flaw

only because you knew it was the only

thing

that could make me strong enough to

leave

I know you aren’t alone

you never knew how to be

I am like the Danger Bird

I fly alone

with my art and madness and addictions

aiding in my flight

I would wish you well

but I really wouldn’t mean the words

I push this barrel into my temple

because it’s the only way

to get rid of you once and for all

Reborn

I woke last night at three in the morning

and reached for you

the bed was cold

you weren’t there

I sang along to my favorite song

it was your favorite too

I finished the lines alone

the meaning was gone

Friends tell me your memory doesn’t

matter

they only try to protect my heart

and I feel strong

until the late hours

When I smell you in my pillow

and I am only half awake

I long to touch your body

but you are in someone else’s arms

I wonder if you remember

the late nights talking

when I made a fool of myself

or is that what I’m doing now?

I wonder if you saw me today

if you would recognize this man

broken but stronger

and the joy you wanted me to have

I wonder if I would recognize you

older and scared

denying what you have become

and longing for innocent times

I stare at the ceiling

but the room is black

and the feeling of being alone

is made better by the peace

you took from me

The Healing

I stare out this window

the snow falling like feathers

gray skies

felling the chill in my feet

Sounds of the hospital

keeping me from resting

I don't want to sleep

I don't want to miss a thing

They placed a needle in my arm

it took me far away

making the loneliness of this place

disappear for a while

I don't know when I'm going home

they may keep me for a while

I was hoping for a visit from friends

but they never came to see me

You make friends here

that you would never meet outside

they help make the hours pass

we've shared some good laughs

They declared me insane today

the thought made me smile

the only measure of my madness

is that I think I still love you

A full day has passed

it only seemed like an hour

I've been numb so long now

time has no hold on me

If there is strength in numbers

I should feel better with my kind

but my thoughts are empty

and my skin has begun to itch

It's three in the morning

and I'm starting to feel

I pray it stops soon

and that the nurses help me

Two weeks have passed

and they are sending me home

the needles left my arms bruised

and I can't tell you the year

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